The Melancholy of Wentz Gossi

Wow, I’m really starting the week off strong:

My parents are complete control freaks, my best friend is mad at the guy that I like [[it's her boyfriend, figures]], I can’t go to the Paramore concert, school is so utterly boring, I think the guy that I liked last year likes me now, tea is tasting boring, I haven’t played the Sims 2 in over a year, people seem like they only want to hang out with me because I’m Erin’s best friend, I think I just had a panic attack while my parents were being control freaks and–why is Pete Wentz so hawt? I’m such a normal teenager, aren’t I? It’s not like I wanted any of this crap to happen to me all at one time but, what difference does it make? My parents have already shown utmost concern on my recent behavior and my increasing stress rate so, what is there to worry about besides the fact that I think my best friend’s boyfriend might like me. [[Not that Eri would care....Would she care?]]

Sigh, it seems as everything has just snowballed into where I am right now. First it started off with Eri becoming more attached to the guy that I liked. It didn’t really bother me that they were talking until 12 days ago when they started to go out. Ok, I admit, I was thinking of ways to sabatoge to thier little blissfulness but, one thing I know for sure about Erin is–she get’s bored with people [[that aren't her friends]]real fast so I was just gonna ride it out for a couple days but not after their first [[and hopefully last]] date.  Here’s the thing, Eri was gone for almost half a week in Cali so I…I kind of took this to my advantage and talked to Nick. I know, I’m such a little bitch but–I was kind of pissed at the way Erin had just totally forgot the fact that I had liked Nick first so I am entitled to SOME type of right, eh? Anyway, so I get to talking with Nick the past couple of days and when Erin got back on her first real day of school since last Tuesday she’s all in “avoid Nick” mood. I don’t understand her. Actually, yes, I do understand Eri to some degree but this…This act of just throwing away what I had wanted so bad…That drew me a little farther down the edge then what happened after last night.

So what did happen last night? I had to go preform for band at this event that takes place at my school, all the extra-cirucular activites did anyway, so me and Erin are just walking around and having a good time at some of the games, right? Anyway, my parents didn’t come but since Erin was there she’s like “Aw, what the hell, I’ll watch you.” I guess that ment alot to me because I felt kind of guilty about trying to break up her and Nick afterword and when she asked me and Katilin if we could watch her too well–it was hard to not to say no. I’m waiting with Katilin when all of the sudden my phone rings and my dad says it’s time to leave. I’m not leaving, I rolled my eyes and silenced my phone. This pisses off my dad so, because I didn’t leave with him and he could wait for fifteen gawddamn minutes, he left me. Yes, the person that’s supposed to take care of me just went right off and left me up at the school. It wasn’t like there wasn’t anyone there–an estimated 2,ooo people were up at the school–but I had a **panic attack** over the fact that my dad just left me. So because of that reason [[and also because my parents are jsut plain asses]]I can’t go to SixFlags with Eri on Saturday which I personally think is g.hey.

Gossi has to sign off right now, it’s getting late and even the ugly[[in my my opinion]]need to sleep!

xoxo, GossiWentz, xoxo

**Well, actually I don’t know if what I’m experiancing are panic attacks or not. I remember when I was reading a book this girl described some of the symptons and I’ve looked into it more so–for know, until my parents believe me, I’ll just call them panic attacks.**